On deck for tomorrow: installing a peephole in my front door.
I'm sitting here on my couch, minding my own business, and suddenly, the doorbell rang. Twice. Now, not a single one of my friends would just stop by my house at night and ring the doorbell, and I sure wasn't expecting someone, sooooo WTF. As I was standing up from the couch, slowly, wondering who the EFF was at my door, the person started jiggling the door knob, trying to open the door. That's when I dialed 911 and poised my lil' finger over "dial".
The person rang the bell again, and, since I don't have a peep hole in my front door, I just yelled through the door, "WHO IS IT?"
Turns out that Marcus is a friend of the shady former residents. But he didn't know they haven't lived here in a year and a half?
So yes. Tomorrow, I install a peephole.
Pro tip: keep your doors locked even when you're inside! This is not the first time strangers have tried to get into my house while I'm five feet away inside.