Thursday, June 11, 2009

It's real?

I've been chatting with a friend from college, Dan, on Facebook recently, about... well, a lot of things. Life, mainly. Self. Awareness. Hobbies. Etc. And he has blown my mind wide open, in a beautiful, genuine, real, and loving way. But here I sit, with my mind blown. It's uncomfortable.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I discovered a few months back, and I loooooooooove it. I usually listen to my "Brandi Carlile" station--Pandora puts together music based on the parameters that define Brandi Carlile's music, and then I get to enjoy it. It's a playlist, basically, so I've gotten to know most of the songs pretty well. One in particular gets me every time--it's called "Clean Getaway", and the lyrics are so apt it's scary.

I'm still surprised, almost on a daily basis, at how much I miss my ex-fiance. I don't miss the relationship, but I do miss him. I don't know if there's just something just broken inside me, if there's something wrong with me, that I continuously miss him, that I have this low-grade, constant ache, or if that's normal and it's just... loss.

Clean Getaway (Maria Taylor)
I made my place by the door
I didn't know what I was waiting for
Felt just like home
Except no grass, no yard, no pictures

I could see across to the park
And there were friends, they
were laughing hard
They looked just like my home
With no face, no name, no voice I'd know

I finally made it
I made a clean getaway
I finally made it
I made a clean getaway

I met someone at the bar.
He had a great smile and a great heart
He felt just like love
Except no fear of losing,
and it wasn't tough

I finally made it
I made a clean getaway
I finally made it
I made a clean getaway
And I miss you,
I miss you every single day.